Jay Park's Lyrical Romance

Guess what, guys? I have tarsal tunnel syndrome. Don't know what that is? Well, neither do I quite frankly but it hurts like a bitch and I have to wear a stupid ugly walking boot for the next few days. And because I have to wear the bulky thing on my foot, I can't really walk, and since I can't walk, I can't work. 

But that isn't stopping me from totally laughing my ass of at Jay Park's new mixtape he released via YouTube. It's amazing, if you haven't had the chance to listen to it. And by amazing, I mean hysterical. 

I first listened to "BODY2BODY." It sounds like dubstep meets early 90's club music. I totally see greasy men in shiny suits a la Night at the Roxbury jamming out to this song. Naturally, if you were to play this in a night club, the beat alone would suffice. But it isn't just background music, which makes me sad.

The lyrics "I don't want to be a creep, but I want you tonight," ... dude, that right there is in fact creepy. Imagine a guy coming up to you at a club, ladies, and saying, "I don't want to be a creep, but I want you." Wouldn't you throw your drink in his face and call security? 

"Now put your hands in the air if you're having a good time, say oooooooh." Um, what?

"If you wanna dance and drank," SERIOUSLY. DRANK?? 

Then I listened to "William Hung," which automatically had me rolling because of the title ... but then the tears started flowing at what happened next.

It was bad. It was so bad. So bad that my computer stopped playing it.

For real.

Awful. 

It was as if after rhyming "viagra" with "Niagra" my computer said "Fuck this garbage," and gave up on it's technological life. But being the dedicated blogger I am, I had to sweet talk my computer into working again. It's like a bad car accident, you just have to look.

The most eloquent, thought provoking, poetic lyrics are below, guys. I mean, seriously ...

Ha if there's a fuck I don't give it, My life I live it
Champagne I drink it, No glass bottle clutched in my hand its finished
Middle finger to all of you hating on me on that bitch shit
This shit be a gun, It bangs it bangs
Your hair in the front, It bangs it bangs

A gang on a slut, it bangs it bangs

This be William Hung cause it bangs it bangs

... just so deep.

"A gang on a slut," my how charming. Such a gentleman, ladies. Wow, all of you who become his groupies sure are lucky. 

Just as an FYI ... if a man has any ounce of respect for a woman, he'd never refer to her as a slut. Not in personal life, not in the spotlight.

More poetry, you ask?

Fine chick just passed man im eyeing her twice
Third time and I’m making her my wife for tonight
So just sit back relax enjoy the show
As I spit raps and facts with the coldest flows
Yeah I’ll go refrigerator on yah
Half my face missing I’ll go terminator on yah
Donald trump cause I’m giving girls the business
I’mmah dog pound cause I’m getting all these bitches

Once again, ladies so lucky. One of you will be his wife tonight. Probably the one with her boobs popping out the most. The slut next to her in the five inch stilettos, you'll be his wife tomorrow night. And he's getting all of you bitches so no need to argue over who goes first. 

I wish I could take this seriously, but this is utter crap and if you think this is "good" music ... I'm sorry, I don't mean to ridicule you for your tastes, but this is nothing but a joke.

As I can't take more of this ... um, music ... I have to finish with "Be With Me 2Night." At first, I thought this was the least repulsive song from a woman's standpoint. Sure, the "girl you're different from these girls I've been sexin'," left a bad taste in my mouth, but the rest wasn't that bad. 

Then came the rap. Are you ready for more romantic poetry from Jay, ladies? Some words as foreplay:

Lets say your my hobby cause I’ll do you with a passion
Girl what you pitching I’mmah hit it like a fast ball
Make you say my name exclamation point caps on
Dag gon only chick badder than Michael Jackson
Yup and I’ll fuck yah tatts off once in a life time girl you’ve earned the last spot
Hit that ass raw and I’mmah make you gasp huhhhhhhh
Yeah your embedded in my head so get embedded in my bed/
Young cat but I’mmah veteran of sex
Gonna bust that in the middle center of yah legs
Fuck rap better get ready for whats next

Done.

I'm curious. My opinion on this mixtape has been made quite evident, but I really want to know what you all think. Do you love it? Hate it? Think it's funny and that's the only reason you're listening to it?

Go to Jay's YouTube channel and listen to the songs. Also, this website has all of the lyrics, and if I'm not mistaken, I think Jay put this up himself, so they're accurate. 

Leave your comments below!

Oh, and sorry to Jay if you read this. I know you put a lot of work into this and I respect that ... but dude ... saying you'll fuck the tattoos off a girl is not in the least bit sexy. Women don't find that shit sexy.

TKPA

What the Ink?!

G-Dragon has two new tattoos, bringing his grand total up to six now if I am not mistaken. That we know of, obviously. Boy could have some stashed away in private areas that only God, the tattoo artist, and whoever the hell he is dating would know about. I like his other tattoos, with the exception of the dragon ball. Why on earth he would get that permanently on his body is still lost on me, but hey if it means something to him, who am I to judge?

I like this one. I am not crazy about it, because it's too much like a white boy who grew up in the suburbs trying to be hardcore ... but more importantly I don't hate it. Do I understand the meaning of it? Yes, I will eternally be a little kid myself, so I get that the mind is what keeps you young. Could he have listened to too much Rod Stewart while thinking of what to get? It is possible. Is it much too big for his skinny body? Oh hell yes it is. GD, you need to eat ... like, severely need to eat. And then once you've gained about ten pounds, then you need to get your newly chubby butt into the gym with Daesung and then I won't mind so much the second tattoo you got.

Dude. 

Again, not judging ... or, trying not to judge ... but this is gross. I know this has to have some sort of significance to you, because you are the type of person that doesn't do something just for the hell of it ... but you could have chosen a better font than that. The font throws me off but whatever ... not my body, not my problem.

But please let's just chill on the tattoos for a bit, and let's put some more thought in the execution of any future ones. 

Please don't end up like Jay Park and his plethora of fug tattoos. Just remember, you WILL get old eventually, your "forever young" tattoo is only for your mind, not your body. Eventually it will be all saggy and wrinkled and it will not look cute or sexy. So if you want to be an old cute Korean man with "hardcore" tattoos, then follow Jay's footsteps.

On the other hand ...

TAEYANG'S IS HOT. SERIOUSLY.

I love this. I don't know what took him so long to get it but I am eternally grateful that he did. I do think it is a little big, but faith in God isn't meant to be small so I get the size of it. Now we need to get him back into the "Prayer" ab days and this will look AMAZING. 

For real, imagine this tattoo all rippled and cut with his many side-abs. Oh ... dear sweet K-Pop Gods you blessed us indeed.

Oh and still totally bouncing over the fact that I called this side-tatt. I must have saved starving children in a former life.

TKPA

Mind BLOWN Over Fantastic Baby

This past weekend I came down with some sort of cold and partially lost my voice, so I couldn't exactly scream with the overflowing excitement that BIGBANG deserves for the newest MV off their Alive album, but there will be sufficient amount of CAPSLOCK typing in this post to make up for it.


Oh, and you know ... I'm like severely kissing BIGBANG's ass in this post, so if you aren't a fan of them, I suggest you don't read.


I have to say that "Fantastic Baby" is my favorite off of the album and knowing that Papa YG is giving us a video for every song, I dreamed of the possibilities that they could do to this song. Could they make it an outrageous club party-atmosphere type of video? But that is too much like "High High," so that wouldn't work as it's been done before. Maybe it will be like an exclusive, sexy half-naked people only club that would somehow end with the overhead sprinklers going off and we'd have half-naked, soaking wet BIGBANG jumping around acting all crazy? 


While, personally, I love my version (though it's been done millions of times over by artists all over), what they came up with blew my mind. 


This is a concept video. You either get it, or you don't. I had a discussion with one of my friends about this video and our take on the video was the "oppression" that BIGBANG has had to face in the media the past year. The marijuana scandal that G-Dragon went through, the horrible accident Daesung was involved in, people saying that this would be the end of BIGBANG and they couldn't come back from this ... even the guys feeling that way. All of that negativity is portrayed by the "STOP MUSIC" signs, the guards with the shields trying to destroy what BIGBANG is doing and tear them down until they are nothing.


The people wearing the gas masks can be seen as VIPs or anyone who has supported BIGBANG, fighting against the criticisms and all of the negativity to fully back and love this group. The way Daesung is falling and caught by the VIPs, after a tremendous effort to show him that he was still loved after that tragic accident. And at the end, when they pull off their masks, it's to signify that they can "breathe easy" now that BIGBANG is back, they're still Alive after all of the hardships they've endured and they are grateful for their fans, the people who have worked with them and believed in them, for continuously supporting them and defending them against "the guards." The last shot of the five of them, sitting on thrones, with crowns on their head is so powerful. They're here to stay, whether you like it or not.

This speaks volumes to me. You all know how I love myself some G-Dragon and how he is, basically, King. He is untouchable. No one in the K-Pop industry can compare to him, so for him to sit on this throne is not only genius, but the truth. 


Now I don't particularly like the hair ... but it was pointed out to me that the exaggerated length of it could be a little dig to those who shunned him for his marijuana incident. We all know he shaved his head shortly after that, whether as a sign of remorse or because he didn't want his hair tested, so this could be a statement that that incident is in the past, it's behind him and he's free of it now, able to grow his hair as long as he wants. 


Or he could just be pissed at me for the "comb-over abomination" comment.

And only GD could pull off sitting on a throne, rapping, while a civil war is breaking out below him. It would look silly if others tried it, but he makes everything look cool.

OH YES. Taeyang covered in frost is ridiculously sexy to me for some reason. I kind of feel like if I were to stick my tongue on him, that it will stick and I will forever be stuck to Tae-Tae. 


I took Frosty Tae to signify that he has been frozen as this image for so long and now that  image (the ice) is melting away to reveal his true self. He's thawing and essentially, becoming more Alive. Yes, we all loved that shy, slightly dorky, pure Christian Taeyang that never had a girlfriend and probably couldn't speak to a girl without stuttering. Recently, within the past two years, we've seen a much more ... happier Taeyang. He's silly, flirty, spazzy ... and I honestly believe he came into his own and became comfortable with who he is. (Plus, you know, I think Lydia Paek has a lot to do with that too, but that's for another time).

AND HOLY SHIT DID I CALL IT OR WHAT. Last week, at the end of the "Bad Boy" review post, I asked, "And does anyone else think Taeyang would look hot with a tattoo? Not to Jay Park extremes, but like maybe one on his back or like on the side of his rib cage? Mmmm."


GUYS. GUYS. GUYS.


THE CROSS TATTOO IS REAL. IT'S REAL. OH HOW MIRACULOUS OUR TAE-TAE FINALLY GOT A TATTOO. AND HE GOT IT ON HIS SIDE WHERE I SAID HE WOULD LOOK HOT WITH IT. 


Now, logically speaking, Tae-Tae got this before I made that post. I understand that I did not actually "predict" him getting a tattoo on his side, and I am fully aware that he did not read my blog and get the idea. But I still said it before it was confirmed to be real so BOOMSHAKALAKA!

The only symbolic meaning I could possibly interpret from this is that T.O.P is so beautiful, he's like a work of art. If T.O.P were alive in the 1500s, Michelangelo would have painted him on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, and then Leonardo da Vinci would have used him to paint the Mona T.O.P. He's one of those pieces in a museum that you just look at and can't help but cry because he's just so beautiful, it leaves you speechless. 

I really should stop being creepy about T.O.P before they ban me from their world tour. 

CJ ... how did your home movies get into this video?

I do like how they interpreted Daesung's part. Solitary, chained and forced to be in a miserable situation. What happened with Daesung was purely an accident that we all know was of no fault of his, yet he blamed himself for what happened. He spent days in his room, alone, confined, sinking deeper into a depression. It represents that he chained himself to that horrible situation and the aftermath that followed. The flexing of the muscles represents him trying to break the chains, break free of the depression, and the guilt that the media has shoved down his throat.


And can I just say DAMN? Someone has been working out and has actually surpassed Tae-Tae in terms of best abs. Never thought this day would happen, honestly. Dae, whatever it is you're doing, can you teach it to T.O.P? Thanks!

Even though it took you almost three years to show me some flesh, Seungri ... it has been well worth the wait. Our little maknae is not so little anymore! Seriously, what better way to signify that you aren't a kid anymore than to surround yourself with girls in black latex and have them rub all over you? Bow down to you and your in-your-face approach to those haters. Major applause from me and again, you just keep doing everything you are doing because you are on fire and it's severely working!


Four last things:

1. Only this man can wear something like this outside of a Tim Burton film and pass it off. 

2. This owl is creepy as fuck and literally scared me.

3. Taeyang's and T.O.P's faces are hilarious.

4. They're back :)


Check out the video for "Fantastic Baby" and have your mind BLOWN!

TKPA

Bad Boys, Let Me Be Your Good Girl

Papa YG must be extremely happy in his home life lately to give us two new music videos from BIGBANG in one week. This coming from the man who likes to troll us fangirls and fanboys and smack us right back into our place.

"Bad Boy" is amazing. Simply put.


I really love the beat of the song. It's very different from any other, not only K-Pop song, but also for BIGBANG. You can't help but dance when you listen to it, whether you're dancing well or like a fool, it just has this great flow to it. I love the raps in it, I love the vocals. It's just perfect from beginning to end.


I fell in love with this song when the teaser came out for it, with G-Dragon in the studio just chilling and just being his cocky-self. 

So when the video came out I knew that I was going to love it. I tried my best to hold off judgement of what they were wearing when the behind the scenes paparazzi-esque video came out (that lasted two seconds before I took to Twitter), but I was waiting to see what it all looked like pieced together in the video.


And surprisingly, no real complaints ... obviously aside from GD's Marilyn Manson hair, Taeyang's spray painted polka dot jeans and ugly ass hobo hat ... no complaints.

There's my bb. There he is, leaning up against that corner, looking like a true New Yorker bad boy street thug, with that one-third aviator, one-third boy scout, and one-third muppet jacket. You lookin' good, GD. 

In all seriousness, when they featured GD on the left side of his face, I went batshit crazy over how flawless he really is. Whenever the wind blew and let that ... thing be seen on camera, then it was like someone threw me off the Titanic and into the ocean and it kind of killed it for me. So for the rest of this post, we will forget about the comb-over abomination that is weaved into GD's scalp and only focus on the left side.


One thing I did have a problem with is that the girls in the video were super boring and showed zero emotion. Like, if you really don't want this guy who is singing that he's sorry he's a bad boy hanging all over you, you're not going to just shrug your shoulders to get him off you. No, you're going to look pissed, you're going to storm off, you're going to possibly take out the pepper spray in your purse and use it on him if he doesn't get the hint. 

Not that I advocate pepper spraying Daesung in the face, but you get the point. 


Papa YG, so glad that you got more than one girl for the group this time around (unlike "Blue" and every other BIGBANG video before it) but next video can we please work on not having zombie models in your video? Throw in some eye rolls, some looks of disgust, some head turning or SOMETHING other than a lame half-hearted push.


By the way, I see Tae-Tae likes them young. (Good thing I'm younger than him ... by two months).

GIRL FROM THE "BLUE" VIDEO. DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE PUSHING AWAY FROM YOU?! So unworthy to be in that fine man's presence.

DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE WALKING AWAY FROM, MOTORCYCLE PATCHWORK JEANS GIRL? YOU ARE WALKING AWAY FROM THE OFFICIAL PIMP T.O.P, AND THAT IS A NAME THAT HE GAVE HIMSELF BECAUSE IT'S THE TRUTH. IF T.O.P WITH BLUE HAIR OR RED HAIR OR FUCK EVEN IF HE IS BALD, WANTS YOU, YOU GROVEL AT HIS FEET AND SAY THANK YOU AND FEEL BLESSED THAT HE IS EVEN LETTING YOU BREATHE THE SAME AIR AS HIM. YOU DO NOT WALK AWAY FROM THIS PERFECT MAN.

Flawless.


I have a feeling I will fangirl attack him during their world tour. 

Seungri looks really awesome, once again. I am loving this look on him and I firmly believe it needs to stay. He really came into his own these past two videos and I am super excited about  what he will have to offer in the future. 

And does anyone else think Taeyang would look hot with a tattoo? Not to Jay Park extremes, but like maybe one on his back or like on the side of his rib cage? Mmmm.


Check out the new video for "Bad Boy" by BIGBANG!

TKPA

I'm Definitely Not Singing the Blues

They're baaaaaaack!!


Aren't you all totally excited for the long awaited comeback of the one and only, gloriously sexy and amazingly talented, BIGBANG? 


EXCITED DOES NOT EVEN BEGIN TO EMPHASIZE WHAT I AM FEELING AND HOW I FELT AFTER WATCHING THEIR NEW VIDEO.


I will admit, like majority of you ... I was put off and somewhat angry at their "concept," or whatever the hell that emo-mess is that G-Dragon is calling hair (totally different subject matter that I will get to later in the post). But I've watched "Blue" about fifty times already, and it is just flawless and it makes me do a little dance in this chair as I type up this post. There will be giddiness and spazzing, as a forewarning, so if you ... say, I don't know ... dislike BIGBANG ... then you probably shouldn't read further because everything I say will be obnoxious from here on out.


The song is essentially about a really bad break up and the depression you feel after it, feeling like you'll never love again, you're destined to be alone and that your heart is "dyed blue" from sadness. During T.O.P's part, he says (according to the subs I found which can only be reliable to an extent) "It's no big deal, I don't care. Inevitable wandering, people come and go." For anyone who has had a bad break up, you know there is that point where you lie to yourself in order to make you feel like you're moving on. It's no big deal, I'll find someone else that is better, I don't care about him/her anymore, etc ... It's a simple line, but I really like it because it is part of the "break up cycle" people go through.


I get why the girl "vanishes" throughout the video. They're "blue" with depression over no longer having this girl in their life, and so they "see" her in the most obscure places or places they used to go. When Seungri is in the driver's seat and looks at the empty passenger seat ... we know it's empty, and he knows it's empty, but that longing and pain his heart feels "tricks" his mind into seeing her. It's more of a desperation and somewhat of a haunting aspect of it. You're forever haunted by the love you lost ... that's some really deep meaning to a music video.


I do not, however, understand why they insist on having one girl for the entire group. Would it really kill them to find four other girls, so the group's name doesn't take on a whole new meaning? (Think about it). Papa YG ... ONE GIRL PER MEMBER. And if you're stuck on who to pick for the next video, my contact information is at the top of the page. 


With the style, it's hit and miss for me. Surprisingly, the one that I felt was the most put together and the most "DAMN" worthy ... was actually Seungri. I know! I KNOW! I've never ever said that, but he stole all of my attention. And I have to say ... it's about damn time this man stepped it up. I knew he had in him, but his cockiness and arrogance always covered it up to make him seem like a kid trying too hard. But now? Oh, he's matured and that cockiness turned into confidence.

And it definitely shows. From now on, you are no longer a kid in my eyes, Seungri. You're a man now. Keep it up. (Oh and thank you for finally showing those abs. It took about two years of me complaining, but I'm glad someone else thought it was about damn time).


At first when I heard that Daesung was blonde, I was wary. I do not like any other man besides G-Dragon to be that unnaturally blonde. 

But he actually looks really good for some reason. I think it could have been a little bit darker, more of like a golden blonde, dirty blonde color rather than Valley Girl tanorexic blonde ... but it still suits him very nicely and that was a big risk that thankfully turned out to be the right decision.


T.O.P is just flawless.

This needs no further explanation.


G-Dragon ... for the love of all things holy ... what ... really?

I will take this over The Cure hair any day, but still this is not your best, boo boo. You've had so many looks it's hard for me to pinpoint my absolute favorite. Actually, no ... that is a complete lie. My favorite look was when you went back to black and had it all cockatoo looking at the MAMA awards. You know ... when you split your pants. That's my favorite look. Can we bring that back please? I just don't like that synthetic looking hair clip thing you have as bangs under that hat. Unless that is your real hair, in which case, we need to stop dying it before you go bald. 


And while that ugly ass hat is mentioned, I feel like I need to take a time out from talking about the video to address the horrible trend that is going around. THOSE DAMN HATS ARE STUPID AND IF YOU WEAR IT LIKE THAT, WITH ALL THAT SPACE IN THE FABRIC ON TOP OF YOUR HEAD YOU LOOK LIKE A HOMELESS MAN. STOP LOOKING LIKE A DAMN HOBO AND PULL IT DOWN ALREADY. GD DID THIS, TAE DID THIS, AND APPARENTLY IT'S THE "STYLE" NOW FOR GUYS ALL OVER THE WORLD TO LOOK LIKE A FUCKING BUM. STOP IT. STOP IT NOW. YOU ARE TWO OF THE RICHEST MEN IN SOUTH KOREA, THERE IS NO NEED TO LOOK LIKE YOU SLEPT ON A PARK BENCH WITH A NEWSPAPER BLANKET. CUT IT THE FUCK OUT NOW.


I hate those stupid ass, ugly hats.


Taeyang ... oh, I saved you for last for a reason, boo. You have two looks in this video: amazing and awful.

This is the amazing one. Absolute perfection, no complaints, I would bow down and worship at your feet with this look. 

This monstrosity, on the other hand ... who dressed you? I know this isn't 100% your fault (at least I am hoping it isn't) but what stylist in their right mind looked at this put together and said, "This looks great!" I mean, seriously ... I can't tell if it is zebra print or just abstract shapes on your pants, but a good rule of thumb is if you can't tell what it is, it probably shouldn't be worn, and an ever better rule of thumb is if it is zebra print on a grown man's pants, it should be burned. Seriously, Tae ... my three-year-old niece has zebra leggings and they look like that. That's so bad. 


And I know this isn't your fault, but dude you have to learn to say NO sometimes. Everything else is fine with what you're wearing except those damn pants. I am absolutely positive that if you had switched those pants out with white pants, you'd look amazing. In fact, if you or one of your stylists or anyone who knows you is reading this, put Tae in the same damn outfit with white pants, or hey even a dark denim, and it will be astronomically better than what was worn in the video. That's how strongly I feel about it, if I measure it in astronomical terms. 


That took a little longer than I thought it would ...


Few other quick little things that should have been done in a better way:

1. Tae has acne problems. We all know this. Those pesky little buggers like to stay on that beautiful jaw line. Lighting is so crucial sometimes, and the way the camera was angled, plus the lighting, you can really see the acne bumps and scars on his skin. It should have been caught and either left out of the video or re-filmed if need be. (You might not be able to see it in the above picture, but it is very noticeable in HD when you watch the video).

2. No one should ever let this man run in a music video. Ever.

Seriously, ever.

3. The "pants" that are running in the video belong to the girl, not Seungri. Every time they show the girl, the coloring of the film is different, very grainy too. I don't know why they didn't have Seungri run in the video. Maybe he runs worse than Tae.


One more thing I feel the need to address, as I have not yet fully expressed my thoughts on the subject matter ...


BIGBANG IS HAVING A WORLD TOUR. BIGBANG IS COMING TO AMERICA. I WILL SEE BIGBANG IN PERSON. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD.


That means fives things:


1. G-Dragon, black cockatoo hair.
2. Taeyang, fitted hats.
3. Seungri, show your abs.
4. Daesung, smile that beautiful smile.
5. T.O.P, just show up.


I'm coming for you, boys. Get ready.


Check out "Blue" by BIGBANG!

TKPA